Surviving Spiritual & Narcissistic Abuse- What Was Meant For Evil, God Uses For Good – Video 4


March 28th, 2015

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. — Genesis 50:20 NASB

For those who do not know, I have served in KidMin, Children’s Ministry, since 1991.  I have also been speaking and teaching at Conferences for the past 15 years.

The Lord put it upon my heart to put together a workshop titled “When Your Life Is Interrupted”  There are many interruptions the Lord allows in our lives: job change, a move to a new part of town, a move out of town, prodigal child issue, health scare etc.  So when creating this workshop I knew I’d be testing the waters in regards to sharing about my spiritual abuse.  I did not go into detail.  I did not name my former church or former pastor.

I did know there are others out there suffering in silence as I did for 7 years.

If I could help them respond to their interruption, whatever it may be,  in a way that pleases Christ, it would be considered a win for the day.  I learned much by going through and devouring the book by Debbie Alsdorf, “A Woman Who Trusts God.”

  • I have learned that we cannot control our circumstance, but we can control our RESPONSE to it.
  • Whatever is happening to us, it’s so God can work something in us.
  • Acknowledge that this “thing” is a test – testing what you believe, not how you behave. This test was ordained just for you by the God who knows what you need.
  • The situation does not have to change for you to find peace, but your reaction to it changes when you have faith.

Here’s the link to her book:

http://www.amazon.com/Woman-Who-Trusts-God-Finding-ebook/dp/B005WVIUJK

As per the video, when Daniel stopped me after my last workshop, I did not know what to think.  But as soon as he shared he had sat in one of my workshops about 5 years ago, I knew exactly what he meant.

Five years ago, I was right smack in the middle of my abuse.  I was frustrated.  I was confused about my Pastor who was supposed to be a positive example to me.  My frustration spilled over into my teaching.  I was in need of a shepherd that cared for the flock.  Instead I was under a shepherd that manipulated.  Spiritual Abuse is soooooo subtle and the effects so real!  I agree that I was aggressive in my opinions back then.  I understand why…now.  I was trying to navigate through the hypocrisy of my leader.

The Lord has used this unfortunate circumstance to help me sand off the rough edges of my personality.  I am more empathetic and I can relate on a deeper level to people’s pain.  The Lord has used evil for good.

What ever state you are in currently as you deal with Spiritual Abuse, God is still on the throne and He has a plan.  You may not see it clearly right now.  But our God is faithful to complete the work He started in you.

There are many worship songs on Christian radio today, but this one by Danny Gokey ministered deep to me personally.  In bold are the words that spoke volumes to me.

“Tell Your Heart To Beat Again”

You’re shattered
Like you’ve never been before
The life you knew
In a thousand pieces on the floor
And words fall short in times like these
When this world drives you to your knees
You think you’re never gonna get back
To the you that used to beTell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday’s a closing door
You don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
And tell your heart to beat againBeginning
Just let that word wash over you
It’s alright now
Love’s healing hands have pulled you through
So get back up, take step one
Leave the darkness, feel the sun
Cause your story’s far from over
And your journey’s just begunTell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday’s a closing door
You don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
And tell your heart to beat again

Let every heartbreak
And every scar
Be a picture that reminds you
Who has carried you this far
‘Cause love sees farther than you ever could
In this moment heaven’s working
Everything for your good

Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday’s a closing door
You don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
And tell your heart to beat again
Your heart to beat again
Beat again

Oh, so tell your heart to beat again

 
Here’s the link…be blessed
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

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