March 8th, 2015
I remember this day fondly as I got to share my story with a colleague that resigned 18 months before I did. It was important to me to tell him because he endured some of the same abuse. I wanted to share the hope I found by finally telling someone what happened to me…and to him.
My prayer is by me sharing these random thoughts, you can feel like you are not alone.
Your abuser wants you to be confused and for you to feel that you are the only one going through this. That’s also how he or she ensures they are not exposed. They count on our loyalty to the ministry to keep quiet and not question their motives.
It’s validating when another person can relate to your traumatic experience. Sharing… has been a huge part of my healing journey. By others relating to my experience and explaining what was done to me, I was determined to fight back and take back my life. My advice is to find a reputable Christian counselor or a seasoned Saint or turn to your mentor to confide in. Not everyone is mature enough to digest your story.
I used to think that NO ONE would ever believe what I witnessed. The situation was so twisted. In the video, I’m not sure how to describe the people that I used to go to church with. It’s so foreign. But I learned, I was beginning my “new normal.” I would now be seeing people I used to worship with. I accepted it and it’s part of my story. Just like I’ll be making new friends and becoming close to other families now as I move on. That’s something I’ve never considered until this happened. They’ll be more “new normal” things for you to consider as you heal.
At this point of my journey, March 8th, 2015, I was on my way to healing. There was a boatload of more healing to be done, but I was ecstatic to be heading in the right direction.
My purpose of vlogging about my abuse is to help others like me. When I first was diagnosed, I searched online for helpful resources. The article below written by Shawn Nelson is one of the best I’ve read so far. It’s a long read but I pray it gives you answers you’ve been searching for and some clarity that you so justly deserve.